Change and/or Resistance

Change and Resistance

Eldercare, the new buzz word. In Ps 90:10 we read: “The days of our lives add up to seventy years, or eighty, if one is especially strong”. Today because of the wealth of medical knowledge we are seeing this being pushed farther back. Many of our neighbors and family members are living well past this into their nineties and even to the ripe old age of 100. So what challenges does this bring? Recently in the Kindred Spirit magazine published by DTS there were a series of articles on this subject. You can read all of the issue by clicking here. Nancy Barton wrote an article entitled “Are you Aging Well Spiritually”. Her points are well taken and are noted as those often seen in the very elderly. Note how many receive checks!
1. Fear: Losing independence and losing the ability to care for oneself, losing a spouse, losing abilities to respond as one did earlier in life. (check, check, check, check!!!)
2. Relational Wounds: Loss of children’s touch and attention, pain from betrayal, slander or gossip. (check, check)
3. Physical Issues: Wrinkles, sagging skin, physical abilities declining (check, check check!!!)
4. Weariness: Been there done that mentality (check check check)
5. Attitude Issues: Complaining, grumbling, apathy. (check check check check!!!)

Lately as we face this with family members we are asking how should we respond? Again from Kindred Spirit, Dr. Jeffery Watson reminds us of two scriptures: Ex 20:12 “Honor your father and mother so you may live long” and 1 Tim 5:8 “If anyone does not provide for his relatives...he has denied the faith”. Wise counsel to the young but to the elder who is resistant at any type of change what do you do? You have talked, prayed, visited, offered assistance, hired caregivers and yet are faced with a brick wall. So it is that God provided yet another article with some sound and wise advice. “What looks like resistance is often a lack of clarity”. How true that statement is and is the stalemate many are facing. Now the next question is this: how do you make it clear to the elderly whose mental processing has been diminished due to a recent mini-stroke or heart attack or just plain aging? It seems so clear to you but to them it is “you want to take away my independence”. You have sat face to face explaining all of the issues before them, showing them options and instead only hear “I resist your help”. The article continues with this statement: The point is, often, we misinterpret resistance. We misunderstand the root of push-back and view it as negative. Yet, in reality, it can be a positive! Resistance is an opportunity to clarify our vision, our expectations, and even our hopes and dreams.

As we walk in this valley we continue with the daily constant prayer: Protect the resistant, clarify their understanding, protect them from a major crisis, open their eyes to see and feel our love, may they accept the provision for their help, remove all doubts and fears and lastly may we have wisdom to know the next step especially when the geographical distance is so great.

Open mouth..put in foot...

A week of not putting mind in gear before opening mouth should be a reminder of this verse that would be best learned and memorized and recited daily: Eph 4:29 "You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is beneficial for the building up of the one in need, that it may give grace to those who hear."

"Wants"

W.O.W. “Want” defined by: to wish, need, crave, demand, or desire; from having wishes in consequence of our wants, we often feel wants in consequence of our wishes. Mark 8 is a good example of this description. Note the first part of the chapter indicates the “wants’ of the people to be fed, then the “wants” of the Pharisees for a sign, then the “wants” of the disciples for understanding, the people’s “wants” for the blind man to be healed, and lastly, Jesus “want” of knowing who people think He is. Let’s analyze each “want”. As we walk through each ask: is it a wish? A need? A craving? A demand? A desire? Does the circumstance fulfill or bring about a want that we did not know we had or is it that we know we have a have a want which is then fulfilled clearly because of the compassion of Christ?
1. How do you see the first “want”? There was a need for food for the people who had come to see and hear Jesus. Observe the people, Jesus and the disciples. The scripture is silent on the people but we note that Jesus had compassion on them. The disciples on the other hand, “wanted” a decision, a direction from Jesus. Observe their attitude. They questioned Jesus on how they were to provide food for this multitude. You can almost feel and hear the tension in their question.
2. What about the Pharisees who “wanted” a sign? Is it a need or is it a demand? Observe their behavior before Jesus. They came out and began to argue with Him.
3. In the boat Jesus “wanted” the disciples to have learned from #1 and 2 situations. Observe the disciples and Jesus. The disciples discuss amongst themselves but do not include Jesus. Note Jesus question: do you not yet understand? Translated being, I just performed a miracle of provision of food for a people that did not request it and I did not perform a sign for those who did. Are you still not able to distinguish between a need and a want?
4. The villagers and the blind man want for healing: Did the blind man seek it or was it a compassionate spirit of the villagers? Reading between the lines we see two clues. Jesus took him apart from the villagers and Jesus told him to not return to the village.
5. Jesus wanting to know: Who do people say I am? Observe the answers of the disciples. Observe Peter who rebukes Jesus. Clearly it was not just a wish but a demand. In a matter of seconds Peter goes from doing what is right to being a servant of Satan.

From all of these examples we can draw some conclusions:
1. A want is distinguished from a need and our attitude and behavior demonstrate where the difference.
2. A want more often stems from a selfish desire rather than wanting to glorify God

Hump Day...Moses or Paul?

Yesterday was a "Moses day". I wore "I can't do this" all day. How does one get over the hump when one faces a "Moses Day?" One turns their face to the heavenly Father. And so I found myself this a.m. reflecting upon Ps 25-26 and pondering the character of God. I noted that the Psalmist knew that in uncertain times God was trustworthy, His teacher, His lovingkindness and compassion was ever before him and that God was his and my refuge. Then in the NT I was reminded that when Paul was "dressing" he put on the "I can do all things robe" unlike Moses. What a contrast.

On "Moses Days", it is good to reflect upon these qualities and to know that even though I do not know what is ahead He does and thus He can be trusted. He will teach me what I need to know as I seek to do His work. He wants to shower me with His lovingkindness and compassion when I feel weak.

I feel so overwhelmed with this course work and yet as I think about doing the audio portion I know that He will give me the right words to share, the right timing and the excellent enunciation and articulation. He is trustworthy. So I am putting aside my "Moses robe", and finding that robe Paul wore, drying my tears and setting forth today to accomplish His task.

Attitude Adjustment needed....

Today was just like any other day; or so I had supposed. But, then I had a nightmare about my piano lesson which led to the fact that I overslept. Then upon arising I spilled the blueberries all over the kitchen and I forgot to add the coffee to the pot. And then the Bible reading was from Numbers 35-36 about the Levites and God's provision for their livelihood. But added to that positive side was the flip side where Israelite men asked Moses to make sure the daughters of Zelophehad did not marry outside their tribe or if they did they would lose their inheritance. Now you tell me why they did not mind their own business? Why did they come to Moses about this "problem" as they saw it? These poor girls were Zelophehad's only heirs and these men were either looking to inherit their property (what scumbags) or they were looking to protect their inheritance (what righteous godly men). It came across as the first to me today. GRRR Who said women are busybodies? So my morning was less than reflective of God's goodness I must admit. Do you have days like that? What was the result: An hour late to work and a stomachache from the rushing and the frustration. What is God teaching me in all of this?

As I was thinking about this on my morning preparation of showering etc. I began to say God thank you! Thank you that You did not want me to judge those men...lesson #1. Thank you that God would provide husbands for them. What a dowry! Lesson #2. And thank you that Moses seemed to understand their need of protection. Lesson #3. It is amazing what a 5 min shower will do to one's attitude when one is listening to the voice of God.

As I was pondering all of this we took time to call my father-in-law who recently experienced a mini-stroke. Today was his 95th birthday. That put life into perspective. God began to ask me how He had provided for my dear mother in law who is 93. Let's see: I have graciously kept her husband of 73 yrs alive for yet a few more days or months or even years if I see fit. Thus, God said, who are you to question the Israelite men? Attitude adjustment.

So God said, will you stop today and ponder my goodness? Will you stop and reflect upon this as the day I have given to you to serve Me? Will you get your attitude in the right frame of mind as you wait on Me for the future?
I had to admit how impatient I am. And I had to reflect on the fact that I am not resting in His provision, praying and reflecting upon my Lord and on His goodness. Attitude Adjustment needed! Done! It is good to have these lessons in life as hard as they are. DRATS!

Oh ...PS: (I still think they were scumbags... :-)

Entombment vs. Freedom !

In the past few hours our attention has been turned to the TV as we watched with clenched fingers and fists the first medic descend into the “tomb” of the Chilean mountain. Would the capsule arrive safely below? Would it continue to descend and ascend bringing the trapped miners to the surface without complications? As I sit writing this, the clock continues to move onward and with each passing hour one more miner has been released from his “tomb” where he has spent the last 69 days. The news media has been quiet on the reflections of these miners with the exception of one. Mario Sepulveda said “"I think I had extraordinary luck. I was with God and with the devil. And I reached out for God,". What a contrast to the recent debate between Christopher Hitchens, the avowed atheist who is battling life threatening cancer, and his brother Peter Hitchens, a strong born again believer. Christopher began his opening remarks with this comment: “civilization could survive without God and in many cases is surviving without God.”. The two men Mario and Christopher are the ultimate contrast. One is entombed in the earth for 69 days and meets God; one is entombed with cancer and rails against God. This reminds me of the two thieves on the cross on either side of our Savior, who is giving His life that both men may live. You know the story, the one railed and passed on into a Christ-less eternity and one sought forgiveness and was told “today you will be with Me in paradise”. Thus each man is given an opportunity to decide his destiny. The story does not change and neither does God. What an opportunity to share Christ with those about us as they marvel at this Chilean feat of retrieving the miners and give the glory to the intellectual marvels of machinery and yet in the midst of all of this one miner stands apart as saying this is a marvel of God alone. Think about it and pray that God allow you to share this story with an unbeliever today.

Lemons to Lemonade

Were you ever presented with a fruit that was unfamiliar to you and upon biting into it found that instead of sweetness it was bitter and acidic? Lemons are that type of fruit and our enemy, the devil the father of lies, is busy presenting the juice of his lemons as a “sweet drink”. But one sip tells us that YIKES! It is bitter! Eaten alone or sipping straight lemon juice leaves a bitter taste but what if sugar is added? We all know it yields a sweet drink. What are the lemons that the enemy presents? Here’s a short list: (bad attitudes, sharp comments, untruths, impure thoughts, unforgiveness, bitterness and the list goes on and on). So if the lemons are those what is the sugar that takes away that acidity? Listen to Paul’s advice:

Phil 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.” Here are some “sugar” ideas taken from three bible.org authors: Hampton Keathley III, Bob Deffinbaugh, and Greg Herrick on how to take lemons and make lemonade.

HK III reminds us that we must consider our emphasis on our mind and our attitudes. They can be kept free from bitterness, blame, self-pity, and hopeless pessimism if we cast our cares on the Lord and trust in His sovereignty. By getting rid of the stuff that chokes out God’s viewpoint, we create space for hope and joy to take its place
Bob D writes: Peace comes when we refuse to allow our hearts and minds to entertain thoughts which fall short of truth and righteousness (verse 8). Peace comes when we put into practice the things which we know to be true, and which we have pondered in our hearts (verse 9).
Greg writes: Stand firm by striving for unity, rejoicing always, praying always, thinking rightly, and imitating Paul.

Are you sipping pure lemon juice or sweet lemonade? Try some sugar.